How To Gain Confidence

Having self-confidence is an essential quality for success in business and in interacting with other people. Hands down- confidence means to have trust in your abilities- which is the sum of your level of self-esteem, and how you view your worth over time. 

Building up your confidence is only half the battle though, to maintain a high confidence level, you need to engage in certain behaviors and take actions that make you feel more secure about who you are growing to be.

Here are some essential tips that I feel are essential in growing and sustaining an excellent healthy level of THAT- Bitch qualities!


Start with self-reflection. 

Self-confidence means having 100% trust in your abilities. To be able to trust in your potential, you must first take a deep dive into the core of your inner being- to believe you must lean toward understanding. 

It's kind of like trying to draw a portrait with no knowledge of the characteristics of the subject- you naturally would make it up as you go. 

While that's okay for making art, you want to be clear on who you are to enjoy your worldly experiences fully. 

Look into the mirror and take a moment to get still- take smooth, full deep breaths and seriously focus on the truth around your character, actions, and motives. Pay attention to the thoughts that naturally enter your mind- accept them without attachment, allow them to flow. Release judgment and let yourself in that moment to simply... be. 

Looking into yourself can be a pretty intense feeling and let's be real, you may come to find that you don't like some of the qualities that you posses-regardless of where they stem from the beautiful thing about reflection is that when you become conscious of your thinking, you allow room for change.  

 Deep inside your mind, paint the picture, get into details. Visualize yourself using the traits, and you want to adopt to live the life you desire. Then take necessary actions needed to recreate your reality. 


Flip slide: Remember the world doesn't have you under a microscope 

After you step out of analyzing every small detail and memory of who you are, it's easy to get caught up in thinking that the world is looking at every minute detail about you through a microscope. Most people aren't. Let's be real most people are caught up in their dealings. So remember to relax.


Release fear. Period

Once you've started digging and searching for your inner self, you will uncover some truths, and that may affect how you feel you show up in the world. It's beneficial to be honest with yourself. Claiming your identity can be intimidating when you're finding your footing, so allow yourself some transition time. 

They say change doesn't happen overnight- I'd like to argue that while the physical manifestation of change may not happen overnight, the conscious choice to change can be instant. 

It's essential to release the judgment of self and others. When creating a space, you have to allow yourself to be open to trying things differently. 

Don't be afraid of feeling out of place. Confidence is about creating your space with your own rules. Don't be scared, growth is interpreted differently by those who've known an alternate version of you. If they are gifted to be in your life, they'll support your journey. The deeper you dive into identifying the truths of oneself, the less fear you'll have due to your understanding of self.  


Flipside: it's okay not to be okay 

It's beneficial to be honest with yourself. A lot of us have many issues and trauma that has aided in forming the habits we identify with today. Acknowledging the truth while on your confidence journey is how you move past obstacles. Trust in your ability to evolve. Every day won't be a "bad bitch" day, but use those lows to identify areas in yourself that could use more compassion and attention. 


Stand firmly in your truth.

Throughout your journey of building self-confidence, uncovering what is right to you is extremely important. While developing strong confidence, naturally, you will be put in positions that test you. Tests are useful!- they help you build up your confidence. Use these moments to push through fear and in your way- take a stance. If it's standing up for yourself, others, or something you believe in- being solid is admirable. 

Imagine yourself as a tree- strong and rooted deep into the earth's soil. You don't sway easily. Think of your thoughts as the roots of the tree powerfully firm and grounded. 

Standing in your truth helps put you in a position of power. People will sense the secure leadership qualities in you and want to figure out how to implement those ideas into their own lives. One thing I've realized about the traits of my favorite confident figures is they're usually considered bitchy or unfriendly. In reality, most people don't like it when you know your worth AND add tax. (which is what you should always do)


Flipside: but be open to listen  

Knowledge is always useful, and there are still new things to be learned. The worst thing you can do in this world is maneuver as if you know more than the next person. That's how you remain stagnant. As for criticism, figure out who you trust most and use those opinions as reliable feedback. The general public of people outside your circle can also lend a helping hand/word in your process- I'm not saying take to heart what others say but try to find appreciation for other ideas that enter your path.  


Be transparent 

A transparent person has no secrets and tells no lies. Transparency builds trust. It's beneficial to show people who you are. Put your pure most authentic self forward to attract more meaningful relationships and opportunities into your life. So express yourself and be open. 

Being transparent will help with confidence by leaving you with nothing to hide behind. Show that you aren't afraid and even welcome feedback. These engagements are how you grow and build strength. Own the package you came here in. Own everything about yourself without one once of doubt. Learn to accept the fact that everything; good or bad that has been in your life has helped shape you into the person you are today. 


Flipside: but understand the power of intimate information

Remember to keep some things sacred. It's okay to let people know what's going on with you but spare the specifics that could be sensitive. This is setting boundaries on how deep you choose to go into the personal details of your life. Any information that you share about yourself could be unclear, altered, and misinterpreted. So yes, be an open book, but don't overshare in a way that leaves you vulnerable. Everyone should require their respected zone of privacy.  


Don't compromise your growth despite old patterns 

Becoming more confident allows you to shed an old way of being and accepting things. Naturally, old habits will continue to present themselves until you've exited that energy field. It's your job to remain dedicated to your process of growing- not saying there won't be some minor setbacks but always strive toward the major come back. Once you focus your mind on changing, keep your word to yourself. You'll find yourself in a cycle of being almost where you want to be. So trust your gut, it doesn't have a reason to lie to you. 

Use your own unique affirmations to help you keep yourself motivated- you can't repeat in you head when you feel triggered, such as:


1. "I have the knowledge to make smart decisions for myself."

2. "I have all that I need to make today a great day."

3. "I trust my intuition, and I always make wise decisions."


You have to be conscious about what you accept into your life. 

Listen to your intuition and take your time before making decisions that will affect your time and your spirit. Practice discernment; the ability to notice fine point details to understand or comprehend a person place or situation. If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. 


Have trust in your abilities and love yourself viciously!



one love,



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1 comment

  • this was really helpful!!

    • Rene