There’s no surprise heartbreak happens to all of us. That roller coaster of feelings is not just exclusive to women. Losing and finding yourself, coping and exploring who you really are… going through photos and videos remembering who you were before and somehow trying to get that back; but better!
Maybe you isolate yourself and act like it never happened, some of us are able to get support from friends and family or maybe all you can do is pour your feelings into your art. Whichever lane you’re in.. let’s face it… heartbreak it’s not easy to deal with especially not at first.
Heartbreak is literally a life changing event, and it goes beyond the realm of romantic relationships. Friends, family and life’s experiences have the power to cause the same pain that affects your emotional and physical body, especially if you’re black.
I think that this glorified hoe culture we’re living in makes this process of healing feel unnecessary and damn near impossible unless you’re alone
To me, hoe culture is promoting a man or woman to engage in a pattern of casual sexual acts with a perceived lack of seriousness, love and commitment. Basically treating sex and partnership as a careless transactional hobby that is usually encouraged through drugs and alcohol use to suppress how you really feel.
Now, I can agree that *some* people can safely have sex just for fun, but I've found that this mindset causes a lot of people to mislead themselves and end up in really shitty situations especially under the influence because they've underestimated the seriousness of sex.
It’s like.. Is it really “fun” tho? How fun is sex if you’re worried about STDs or pregnancy? & I promote safe sex but fr how “fun” are condoms? Is it actually fun having sex with someone you’re not emotionally invested in?
Don’t get me wrong sex is fun it’s not a dead serious topic but chemically, sex easily has the power to create an intense bond to that person. Now Imagine how dangerous and confusing that can be if you’re still heartbroken and bonded to the last 2 or 3 people!? Talk about projectionnnnn!
It may sound super conservative of me but it’s wild how we encourage each other to put ourselves into this cycle. Healing is hard enough but this makes it harder while providing temporary comfort.
We all do this!! How many times have you heard or said “mannn/girl fuck her/him let’s go out get a new one” Man woman, gay, straight and all the in betweens- It seems like majority of us are traumatized from the pain of heartbreak and numbing it with casual sex while convincing ourselves that we don’t crave intimacy and partnership. & Since now you’re lying to yourself you can’t trust other people because you’ve been coping for so long. You’ll think “there’s no way other people are healing we’re all hurt we’re all lying we’re all cheating.”
I don't think most of us in our early/late 20's or 30s know how to be completely honest with ourselves about our feelings regarding the matters of the heart or sex because nobody feels safe to. Its easier to tuck those feeling away but it’s far more beneficial to practice self awareness shadow work and self love to make sure you aren’t taking the easy way out, projecting pain onto others and cheating yourself out of what you really want by throwing yourself into sexual comfort when you really crave intimacy. You owe that to yourself in this lifetime.